Dear Auntie Whisky,
I really want to buy 4 corsets… should I? I mean, I live in Melbourne and we are still in COVID19 lockdown. And 4 sounds excessive, but they are on sale! How do I decide?
Purchasing goodies is always a hard one. We are all very good at seeing things that we want, but are these things that we actually need? There is a difference, of course, between needing and wanting. That can be the biggest cause of uncertainty in daily life.
“Do I want to eat something? Do I need to eat something?”
And of course there is always the added idea that “it is irrelevant if I need or want it, for I know that having it will make me feel better”. In this particular climate, finding the small joys in life are worth it.
There is the angle that you may or may not have addressed yet, and that is this:
“Will this action put a different kind of strain on me, and will that strain be worth it?”
In the context of wanting or needing to eat (my personal daily struggle), I will always feel better to begin with, as eating gives me comfort and joy. However, when I am midway down this path (of having eaten), sometimes the aftermath makes me feel worse. If I eat something too fried, I might need the toilet time. If I have something too salty, it makes my tongue tingle and I cannot quench my thirst all the way through to the next day, making my sleep not great. So salt = 2 future negatives (2 FNs).
These future negatives, are occurrences that may happen with every decision you make. So, like all decision making, I like to makes lists (I LOVE LISTS!) and find a strategy tool (one that is as objective as possible). As boring as this may sound, it may be the key to making a decision that eradicates those FNs.
So here is my personal ‘purchasing decision’ tool:
1) Can I come up with 3 independent justifications for buying these items?
2) If I pop them in a basket, wait (eg 48 hours or just before sale ending time), and reopen… do I still want them with the same above justifications?
3) If I pop them in a basket, wait (eg 48 hours or just before sale ending time), and reopen… are they still there? (AT THIS POINT THE UNIVERSE IS TELLING YOU TO DO IT)
4) Are they on sale? And if so, is the sale worth it? Does it bring an item you long for into a price range that you deem good value?
5) If I weigh up the overall price, how much would each item cost on average? Is that an acceptable amount to spend on all these items? (AGAIN, IF THE ANSWER IS POSITIVE, DO IT!)
6) Lastly, could you live without these items? Or more specifically, are they things you may not need now but will need at some point in the future when they will no longer be at the sale price? (IF YES, DO IT!)
In the end, the FNs here, at this time, are inevitably going to be financial. The majority of us are not earning as much, or saving as much as pre lockdown, so the ‘guilt’ we feel about the joy may be the deciding factor. But by following the above steps, you can argue with that guilt in an objective manner, and move on quicker.
Now I know what some of you may be thinking… Whisky! You just sucked the joy out of the spontaneous purchase! My response to that…
That’s what the basket of dreams is for! No one is stopping you putting everything you desire into said basket! Fill it up baby! When you review it, just like you would when heading to the non-virtual checkout, you may find items there that were just for fun. They were ‘try on’ items only. That future negative brain will filter those out before you get to the checkout. This is called TRUSTING YOURSELF. You got this. You will keep things you ‘need’, and a few items that you want. And when that balance is there, the wants can be justified for sure.
So, my sweet and classy one, if you 2 of your corsets are needs (even future needs) and the other 2 are wants, answer all the above questions and you will have your answer.
Enjoy the process! Decision making can be fun!
Love, Whisky
DISCLAIMER: I am not a qualified therapist, agony aunt, psychologist or philosopher. This Agony Aunt inspired blog is purely for entertainment purposes. No advice received from Auntie Whisky is factual, lawful or intended to be followed through. Unless I dare ye! (Kidding, obviously!) (Or am I?) (No seriously, this is creatively licensed only)(Ok shut up now Whisky) (Mic drop)